Monday, February 28, 2011

keep the faith. that's how i would like to describe it. a reminder for myself to keep the faith. i have a promise to fulfill.. and i'll carry the sign wherever i go to keep reminding me about the promise i make...

hey, reading your messages, i feel subtle meanings there. lightening me up..

but i also keep not being so expressive as i wish. i just want to walk on this pathway. if heaven decides any other than expected, what shall an ordinary man like me could do. but i'll keep walking on the way until 'it' says not.. 2 years, i promise and 6 months already passed. it's quick. that's what i feel..

but the feeling is upside down. it's like a roller coaster. sometimes up, down, up, down again but i have no choice but up again.. in one hand, i sometimes think, why i torture myself for this; being away from home, under continuos pressure, and so on. the other side though, i remind myself hard how to be grateful to have time devoted only for studying as i used to dream on. i keep reminding myself that nothing's useless as long as it's being carried seriously and thoughtful. anyways, there are a lot stories i would like to tell but let me keep it for the time being..

but i just can't ignore to what i promise and i'll fulfill it. i know there are prices to pay and i will pay for that.. 


Sunday, February 27, 2011

I was walking to Uni, university, we quite often saying  "going to uni" instead of "going to campus" when there was a kind of holding me to take these pictures. Yes, I noticed couple days ago, that there was quite unusual seeing the flowers, whatever their names are, poor me, start to growing up.. And they grow under the big trees. It could be a coincidental but that what I notice. 

Anyways, spring is coming. That's giving hope? :) Yes, why not? At least, there will be no complaints about the weather until the coming of winter again... Also I notice that the sun is still around until 6 p.m. I mean it's still bright until 6 not like on the last months it already got dark by 4 or less than 4.. But now, it's getting better... :)

Spring brings hopes and spirit??? I'll take that notion...  :))))

spring to come

Saturday, February 26, 2011


I think this time is the lowest curve of being here, studying here. Well, there are literally hundreds or even thousands reasons to come up justifying that. But as usual, I hesitate to explore all those reasons. It's been my belief that 'pointing that, pointing this', in many ways, is not helpful. Pointing those all reasons, unfortunately, I regard as complaints. Perhaps, some psychological studies refer that complaining, or whatever you might call it, is good. It gives you a relief perhaps. Unfortunately, again, it's been planted on my nerve system that complaining is just not helping. Or, perhaps, because I'm quite good in finding reasons for almost everything, i think i'had been trained for that, avoiding complaints then might be helpful.  That's why as conscious as possible, I avoid it.

Anyways, I really miss home. Despite that I feel time is just so running fast, I do miss home. Under the sun, and all... 

I'm making a program for this March for myself; no caffeine, no nicotine, no alcohol and sort of addictive things. In 3 days more...I should give myself a break for all those. I need that..

Sunday, February 06, 2011

into the wild

Alexander Supertramp :)
'I paraphrase Thoreau here',

"rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness,
give me truth"

seems like my dreams are coming to me again. something stayed there for a while until lately appear again; wandering into 'human being' whatever it means.. but i know what i mean...