keep the faith. that's how i would like to describe it. a reminder for myself to keep the faith. i have a promise to fulfill.. and i'll carry the sign wherever i go to keep reminding me about the promise i make...

hey, reading your messages, i feel subtle meanings there. lightening me up..

but i also keep not being so expressive as i wish. i just want to walk on this pathway. if heaven decides any other than expected, what shall an ordinary man like me could do. but i'll keep walking on the way until 'it' says not.. 2 years, i promise and 6 months already passed. it's quick. that's what i feel..

but the feeling is upside down. it's like a roller coaster. sometimes up, down, up, down again but i have no choice but up again.. in one hand, i sometimes think, why i torture myself for this; being away from home, under continuos pressure, and so on. the other side though, i remind myself hard how to be grateful to have time devoted only for studying as i used to dream on. i keep reminding myself that nothing's useless as long as it's being carried seriously and thoughtful. anyways, there are a lot stories i would like to tell but let me keep it for the time being..

but i just can't ignore to what i promise and i'll fulfill it. i know there are prices to pay and i will pay for that.. 

hso