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i like taking pic of this fisherman. i actually observe him for some days, way of earning life, sort of it. i got up early in the morning like 6 and find him catching fish until 9 and i notice the result he got, the amount of fish he catch. sometimes, i don't get it. i mean, is it because of the lack of the tools or knowledge or something that the resource available, unlimited even that is the fish on the ocean, could not make his life better? simple words, why can't they get better life with the great resource, fish, available? or what is really in it that their life 'as usual'? sometimes, i just want to be like them for a while. i mean i want be like real fisherman to understand the situation. very possible, there are lot unexposed things. or perhaps its complicated and its not as simple it might be seen or written. i don't know. or are we (who think of them) that actually the complicated ones?

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photography

these days, i like taking photos. i'm learning photography. seeing the world through viewfinder. through the lens. its so interesting. still it requires technique and things beyond technique of course. it's fun. it's an art as well. i might just need more knowledge for the digital processing for artistic effect. there are some good guys yet humble in the jpc community. they commented on some of my photos and they were precious.

by the way, photography could be also as a back up profession. we called it here 'fotografer keliling'. :D it's joking. i dont know.


from obama fever to american pillow

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basically, i'm little kind of nervous-unclear-in doubt. im not sure how to express it exactly. but i think i'm feeling something like i have to take an action for 'being moving'. 'being moving' to somewhere but not sure where to head. i don't know, man. in next few months, i'll be 4 years here in the island and after that, time to move. i like this island, its people, i like the 'fighting' my organization's doing, i like the way to work with people and things but at the same time i have to move. if not i'll be stuck. i need new spirit, new fresh air and ideas, new place, new sky (?).

then the question is 'what next?'

the obvious answer for this question is blur. not sure yet. yes, there are some plans but plan is plan. action and fact is one or two steps beyond plan. before you are on the 'fact' level, things are still 'on the plan'.

i do not even know exactly what the 'fact' i'm going to head. i am even little bit skeptical, pessimistic.. whats goin on in me? or is it (these four years) my 'comfort zone' and unaware that in certain point i have to really move? or is it because i know but there was not real action to be done to prepare things? do i need to be under a certain process to pump me up? to awake me up?

My goodness, after all, after these 10 years, i will write an application to have a job. man.., is this the way to move? for me, its kind of not common. or is it because i'm heading into a 'different level'. in the sense that what i'm doing now is 'another different level' or as we sometimes make a joke of it, like switching from 'locale''nationale' into 'internationale'. lol. my goodness., that will be the fact. my life will be based under contract! is it? contract! omfg.

i'm waiting for ford foundation scholarship committee for a good news to safe me. if not, well,.. ready for going back to where i was or ready to be under 'contract worker' but still i could say it for the sake of social transformation.,(?!?) ehm..
well...

i was on my way back from Afia, a farmer training area, when i saw this little creature. as i was driving, i saw this kitten. i heard its voice was louder more than the car's sound. i stopped. it was in the middle of the road. it's on the lane. its not so obvious as its skin is white as the lane color. but i stopped. it cried aloud. i asked a friend, his name filemon who were with me to take the kitten out of the road so noboby hit it. it was taken out of the road. After it was taken out of the road, i thought it would be safe from road. But just few meters, i stopped again. I started to think that yes it would be safe for a while but after that? It is a kitten that just born couple days or weeks plus i did not see its mother there and 'the owner'. it must be thrown away just like that. i talked to filemon abt that and i didnt know i just took any decision to take it and bring with me. that's the story. and now i "have" a little creature people called them pet. is it?

i never have a pet. never. what i remembered is i had a chicken when i was kid but thats for short time. i shared with my brother i think. im not sure. but now i "have" a pet, a kitten. lol

that's funny. i dont know how to handle that at the first place. i did consultation on it lol but yes,.. i was suggested to give it a dancow, powder milk, the white one not with the chocolate. and it was great feeling when i found it in store n bought one to give to it. wuizzz,,.. cool... i feel like more 'human'. it became stronger now. its legs became stronger. i could see it. i played with it these days. it likes to 'catch' me and we did running. i call it 'magiao'