:)


interview while enjoying water melon from the garden..it's nice


meeting


on the meeting


the farming center by trainee farmers



akane fell and hiro laughed. its slippery


the team on the agriculture spot.


that day was raining. but raining is good


one of doors into the nias museum


after chewing betel nut, tounge becomes red

japanese friends came to visit

my japanese friends came to visit. wonderful days. i did enjoy that. here their photos
building friendship stronger..!
wonderful days..

hillary's visit

I took this pic a day before Hillary's visit. Never seen Jakarta was so bright like this. lol it could be just my feeling though :)



Hillary visits Indonesia for these couple days and it means something. There was a cartoon on national daily Kompas couple days ago pointing how Hillary was a good model of showing democracy we are pursuing. When Obama defeated her for Democrat presidential candidates nomination, her acceptance of that defeat and then turned to support Obama is very very interesting. It's so wise. The leadership is there. Kompas showed the very interesting lessons into Indonesian public.

And then Kompas continued exploring by revealing how the relationship between SBY (Indonesian President at the moment) and Megawati who was defeated by SBY on the last 2004 election. Megawati is not able to show her acceptance of being defeated. She is not politically matured. That's why in some points I lost my sympathy to her. I remembered when she was oppresed by dictator Suharto, and we mobilized supports to her but after she became president, she was totally changed. I do not see the true leadership in her rather than the ambition for political power like other most politicians here.

But again, the democracy we are building again (after authoritarian suharto) is on the way. it takes more time though. it takes more efforts. it takes hard work to be a 'big nation'.

Another point I do like for this Hillary's coming is the issue she put on the attention that is the building of poeple to people relationship. This is it..!!!

This reminds me the same issue when we had a talking to one of the guys in the us congress when we visited washington in 2005. and when back to indonesia, i tried to talk the importance of this as well, people to people relationship. and i am very glad when i found this issue appeared on this Hillary's visiting. Again, people to people relationship is the right foundation to build a strong and stable relationships of nations.

Despite the complicated facts over the last administration under George Bush, Indonesian now do not see american as a devil as used to be. I can see that from the fact when israel hit palestine recently, indonesians are not as spontaneously as used to be to blame american behind it or backing that action up. well, there were couple street demonstrations but i think that mostly for political purpose. election is ahead. and in many cases, indonesian understand that was not 'pure' showing the solidarity feelings of being muslims. again, its more political. i dont see the extremist muslim get much supports as used to be either. used to be. there were on tv shows how they were regarded as hero. but this very much changed right now.

Obama factor is very much defined it. Very much. It could be like a main factor. What I mean by Obama factor here refers to two things; first Obama as a person once lived in Indonesia or Indonesian factor in Obama and Obama as a symbol of change democrats and most american wants.

Again, Indonesian very much attached with the 'emotional' factor. Sometimes, its hard to explain this when the cultural context is not properly understood. What I want to say is in so many cases, indonesian, might be like other asians, i don't know, put the 'relationship' 'emotion' 'being family' 'friendship' first rather than logics. I mean, emotion first then logics. It doesnt work very much on the way around; logic first then emotion. i dont think it worked very much.

But I also believe that if just if Hillary who became the us president, Indonesians would be friendly as well although not as like this now.

so, again,.. thank you for the visit :)
and yes, there is a pride of that visit (indonesian feelings lol)

red and green subordo anisoptera

i got my letter today

Today I received my letter written by me :) 3 years after..
It was in the last day of APLP in Bangkok and we sent to ourselves.
I got mine today and i'm happy.. just because it reminds me again the fellows i wrote in the letter. :) lovely

i'm cool

these days i think i feel calm. i used to be straight to the point, sharp 'n perhaps explosive 'n its easily regarded as non-co-operative lol. but these days, pretty good.. perhaps this is whats so called 'changed' i dont know

. .

.










i like taking pic of this fisherman. i actually observe him for some days, way of earning life, sort of it. i got up early in the morning like 6 and find him catching fish until 9 and i notice the result he got, the amount of fish he catch. sometimes, i don't get it. i mean, is it because of the lack of the tools or knowledge or something that the resource available, unlimited even that is the fish on the ocean, could not make his life better? simple words, why can't they get better life with the great resource, fish, available? or what is really in it that their life 'as usual'? sometimes, i just want to be like them for a while. i mean i want be like real fisherman to understand the situation. very possible, there are lot unexposed things. or perhaps its complicated and its not as simple it might be seen or written. i don't know. or are we (who think of them) that actually the complicated ones?

..

photography

these days, i like taking photos. i'm learning photography. seeing the world through viewfinder. through the lens. its so interesting. still it requires technique and things beyond technique of course. it's fun. it's an art as well. i might just need more knowledge for the digital processing for artistic effect. there are some good guys yet humble in the jpc community. they commented on some of my photos and they were precious.

by the way, photography could be also as a back up profession. we called it here 'fotografer keliling'. :D it's joking. i dont know.


from obama fever to american pillow

' '

basically, i'm little kind of nervous-unclear-in doubt. im not sure how to express it exactly. but i think i'm feeling something like i have to take an action for 'being moving'. 'being moving' to somewhere but not sure where to head. i don't know, man. in next few months, i'll be 4 years here in the island and after that, time to move. i like this island, its people, i like the 'fighting' my organization's doing, i like the way to work with people and things but at the same time i have to move. if not i'll be stuck. i need new spirit, new fresh air and ideas, new place, new sky (?).

then the question is 'what next?'

the obvious answer for this question is blur. not sure yet. yes, there are some plans but plan is plan. action and fact is one or two steps beyond plan. before you are on the 'fact' level, things are still 'on the plan'.

i do not even know exactly what the 'fact' i'm going to head. i am even little bit skeptical, pessimistic.. whats goin on in me? or is it (these four years) my 'comfort zone' and unaware that in certain point i have to really move? or is it because i know but there was not real action to be done to prepare things? do i need to be under a certain process to pump me up? to awake me up?

My goodness, after all, after these 10 years, i will write an application to have a job. man.., is this the way to move? for me, its kind of not common. or is it because i'm heading into a 'different level'. in the sense that what i'm doing now is 'another different level' or as we sometimes make a joke of it, like switching from 'locale''nationale' into 'internationale'. lol. my goodness., that will be the fact. my life will be based under contract! is it? contract! omfg.

i'm waiting for ford foundation scholarship committee for a good news to safe me. if not, well,.. ready for going back to where i was or ready to be under 'contract worker' but still i could say it for the sake of social transformation.,(?!?) ehm..
well...

i was on my way back from Afia, a farmer training area, when i saw this little creature. as i was driving, i saw this kitten. i heard its voice was louder more than the car's sound. i stopped. it was in the middle of the road. it's on the lane. its not so obvious as its skin is white as the lane color. but i stopped. it cried aloud. i asked a friend, his name filemon who were with me to take the kitten out of the road so noboby hit it. it was taken out of the road. After it was taken out of the road, i thought it would be safe from road. But just few meters, i stopped again. I started to think that yes it would be safe for a while but after that? It is a kitten that just born couple days or weeks plus i did not see its mother there and 'the owner'. it must be thrown away just like that. i talked to filemon abt that and i didnt know i just took any decision to take it and bring with me. that's the story. and now i "have" a little creature people called them pet. is it?

i never have a pet. never. what i remembered is i had a chicken when i was kid but thats for short time. i shared with my brother i think. im not sure. but now i "have" a pet, a kitten. lol

that's funny. i dont know how to handle that at the first place. i did consultation on it lol but yes,.. i was suggested to give it a dancow, powder milk, the white one not with the chocolate. and it was great feeling when i found it in store n bought one to give to it. wuizzz,,.. cool... i feel like more 'human'. it became stronger now. its legs became stronger. i could see it. i played with it these days. it likes to 'catch' me and we did running. i call it 'magiao'

last party in this year

another party last night at sonya's house. i enjoyed it. it could be like the last party. i dont know. at least for this year though. sonya's heading to myanmar this coming january. still crowd were there. but just not sure if there would be more like that after this year. i mean people are leaving. some offices were closed and some will be. so, it gonna be like i dont' know. next year could be like quiet or some still guys around and make noise, i mean party. we need that. for a break and most for socialization. not often we meet each other very much because everybody has his/her own business.

n seemed like mia enjoyed what she found about her interview as well. hard days for her but worthy for digging out information and to get know better what's goin on in this island especially the issue around the humanitarian actions or things. and the other my locale buddies; ya'a 'n henry are still as insane as they are, i mean as cool as they are.

times for me to do reflection as well.

A lot changes

A lot things happened these days. Been three months, not posting anything. i think it could be either because a lot things happened or just something else. i dont know.

i start with the task of my duty as Selection Team of Electoral Committee of Kabupaten Nias Selatan in which at the end i am satisfied with the result. at least, i could defend to cross over the candidates involved in the last election manipulation and those who are disqualified by the law such as a member of political party or once in prison due to the crime acts. a lot psychological pressure from outside and inside our team to pass the names. but im just so lucky to be able to say 'no' and put things based on the regulation and the law. i just now more realize that involving in such public decision making is not easy but i believe it would be worthy in someway.

and another surprising thing is i quit smoking :)
I can...:) Yes, I can... lol.... but yes... i can. it's been 4 weeks though. it took me years to figure out how to quit smoking until on the last 18 nov and i decided to quit. and yes i did it after keep watching obama videos yes, we can.. :D

but i do really love him. he's so inspiring. never so enthusiastic to follow us presidential election until his running for the presidential election. and i dont know why my G5 aplp response in mailing list was not as hot as i watched in the video except aleyamma :) n josh. no idea. they could be busy or they are involved but somehow not sharing in mailing list.

ops my big dad from Japan sent me wishing for happy bday :) and other aplpers as well.

there are just so many emails i dont reply these days. the emails are just coming full my inbox and still figuring out how to reply those emails.

oh ya by the way, i and gaby took pictures for a show and it is good. it's in the show at museum pusaka nias.

A lot things to do these days and i'm excited

birds in the sky, feeling good



hanizam being 'guru' of stress management training at our office



exciting






rob (philips), rudy and rini (tdh netherlands) interacting with the children







innocent faces





Starting from the visit of Hanizam. This buddy was just cool, smart and yet humble. I think it’s a blessing to find that kind of people who is just in when you are both talking something. The principle and the ideas are just there and when you both 'go down to earth' of those principles and ideas, it just works. Amazing. We talked about the co-operation of both LPAM & Austcare to support Nias farmers. And one of the points I do really appreciate it is we talked as 'partners' not in the sense of ‘giver and taker’ position.

So far, our experience working with Austcare for Community-Based DRR (Disaster Risk Reduction) project was a starting point where we do enjoy the ownership of the project together. We do not feel the burden alone. That's what we feel. And almost every month, there is a common monitoring and evaluation for the project, LPAM & Austcare. In many cases, monitoring and evaluation is sort of headache. That's what I always heard from other colleagues when their monitoring guys are coming or after the monitoring itself. Never feel that though. I don't know. I am perhaps too confident about what we have done :). Anyways, we are happy every Collin Fernandez’s coming for the monitoring and evaluation. This guy is another unique, deep thought and cool.



By the way, here it is. I could be wrong but here what surprising us in LPAM when Hanizam came with the draft of the MoU. In the budget, there is an item budget for Ramadan / Christmas Bonus for the staffs. :) Wuih... Honestly, I lost my word when i read that item. For me, it's not about the amount of the budget item. It's not about that but the appreciation. For me, It's sort of appreciation and it's put in the budget. If the question is ‘Who really seeking for appreciation?’ I don't think we seek for that. Just agreed for what we purposed is more than enough. More ever when there is a token of this appreciation. What I interpreted is these guys understand that in the special occasion either Ramadan or Christmas which only occurs once in a year, every body needs to share something with their families or relatives. I've been running this organization for more than three years but only this time it happens. Actually, it's not for my wish but for my colleagues’. I used to hear them in a very soft way to mention about that when Ramadan or Christmas approaching. But the good thing is they also did understand that there was no budget for that. So.., you know.. Again, thanks Hanizam and Jihad..!


Jihad even made the support for farmer bigger and thanks to him to make it happen. So the project will be running for 9 months instead of 6 months as previously proposed. So exciting....! I am... It's time to do the real thing for the people...
Thanks guys!



******************************************************
Selection Team of Electoral Commission. We, the team, supervised the written test for the candidate of electoral commission of Nias Selatan Sub-District in the middle of coming of TdH N and Philips. The week was so tired.


But well.,,. the guys were cool. Rob from Philips has sense of good humour. I like that. Sometimes, i exploded when he had a really funny jokes. TdH seems to have a new program but i don't know if we will take it or not. or perhaps i might give recommendation to just directly work to schools. i don't know. but just to find them want to help the children more is already interesting.



******************************************************
Oh yeah, we had a discussion this afternoon at Christian Aid office; LPAM, CWS and CA Ina itself. Well....... life is good...

I should have learned things more and more. Maybe my effort to try understand things never be enough. Or I might have something need to be fixed in my simple mind or......? I don't know. But yeah,... life is good...! What else?

8 months already.., simplicity and complexity couldn't meet the level of understanding of the situation. superstition might be.. or perhaps there must be a hidden lessons learnt there. i don't know. my simple mind is as simple as could be. To complete the commitment to fullfill the affected rights and done! because that's the main reason i stay in the island; to complete what we have started. God and all the good spirit of the ancestors will help the rest..


******************************************************
Hey by the way...
I didn't know that Nata ( a colleague from nias museum) left to Japan last week. There is something I would like to give to Nishida actually. If I knew, at least i’d ask him to send my greetings to my big dad and mom there and all the great buddies there..

miss japan..
miss the weather
miss the people
miss of being lost for a while
miss the cute things...


Jack Johnson is accompanying me these days.... I like his songs... little bit mello... but nice...

Rocky 'n Challenging Road is Just Started

A bright morning in Nias Island

Today we had a meeting of all Selection Team of Electoral Committee from 28 districts in North Sumatera Province.

My team is from Selection Team of Nias Selatan District (Tim Seleksi Kabupaten Nias Selatan). This team will elect 10 candidates for District Electoral Committee (KPU Kabupaten) serving for 5 years and is in charge for every political election of legislators, president, governor and head of district in the region. Choosing (electing) the 10 candidates for the KPU Kabupaten then is too political, I mean, this task is very much political interest covered.

Soon after the meeting, I had a call from someone who has interest for our job. As usual he tried to offer a sort of bribe. Damn! I directly say no and soon closed the phone!

I know it gonna be tough. Today is just the starting. Out of 5 members, I think, I and one of my my colleagues, Sehati Halawa, are on our principle to be independent, objective and accountable to do the selection. We realized the other three have their own hidden agendas. I do realize that the pressure will be there. I hope I could be strong enough to say no for any sort of bribe in whatever means and could face any physical pressure or mob pressure. The mob pressure is the tough one. Yes, the district, Nias Selatan, is well known for the physical pressure. The district is sort of 'cowboy town' where mobilizing crowd (mob pressure) is always used for political interest and political bargaining. It has its own history.

i do realize that being a member of the selection team is a choice. It's a choice to do something better for the district in which at the end of the day will effect the people. it's an advocacy (involving in public decision making). And i do also realize the consequences for taking the task as well. But for me, personnally, it's not only doing the advocacy where you are involved in decision making for the benefit of the people but also It's kind of re-testing idealism in different level. In past, when I was student activist there were temptations and i passed. When managing big amount of humanitarian aid the temptations were there but thankfully I passed them. Now, in different level, it's not only the temptation but also the mob pressure will be there. I do realize that. I often faced the pressure from others but this one is different as I am going to face the local political party's power and also the local government's power. They (political party and local government) have power and very much interest in our task. If i pass, i can keep being as what i choose want to be. But if i fail, i'll be sorry for my life and for the people i fight for.

I'll see how far I can go..

tunnels

from tunnel to tunnel

i like taking pictures of these tunnels on the way down to shirawakago. miss japan!

I am so glad for these days.

Eka, Jenna, Serena 'n Filemon

I am so glad for these days.

My old buddy, Filemon, at the end of the day, returns here in this island. We once worked together for tsunami response in Aceh. Only couple months after that when another quake hit this island, we met again and worked very closely. What I like in him is his spirit, reliable and lots jokes around to cheers you up when you’re up ‘n down. We like speaking as it is, boldly, without reluctance wether it would be offending or not. We never feel that ‘bold ‘n sharp’ talking as offending rather as it should be and we regard that ‘we’ve already done’ abt it in the sense that we see people not in what and how they talk but rather than what he’s done, more less :)

Then Jenna, Super J, arrived here for internship at LPAM for two weeks. Young, smart, cool, menthol smoker, having musics taste. she shared me her 15 gb music files :) I met Jenna at ICU Tokyo after delivering the lecture suprisingly she told me she’s Indonesian in which she didn’t seem like that one. But she is. But she’s a real Japanese as well for many things especially for cleanness (hygenic) matter, not throwing ash anywhere as happening here. She left the island this morning though.:( She reminds me the beautiful moments of visiting Japan and I miss Japan again, the moments staying with my Big Dad ‘n Mom, Nishida ‘n family, Hayashi ‘n the gengs of Nias Network Project and the the awsome things of japan.

And Serena, the German buddy who;s learning to speak Bahasa Indonesia still as used to be; humble, smart, vegetarian, non-alcoholic ‘n non-cigarettes smoker, coming to visit us. She interned here last year. I like the way she speaks Bahasa Indonesia, it sounds like :D I don’t know how to explain it but I hope after her study in Solo, Java, she might speak more Indonesian. :) It’s amazing...!

I did really enjoy spending moments with these buddies and Eka was always there too.

Feeling Good Again

Feeling good again...

Yup, I feel good. Feel good :)

Good People Around

I often do few reflection over these days and I am always grateful to good people around me. There are just there. Thank you for them. There are Jihad who offered good relationship, Nishida and his team with Nias Network Project inviting me to get to know Japan more, his parents for the hospitality, My Japanese Okasang, Otosang (parents) that I will always miss them. I am also grateful that I have dedicated colleagues whose same vision with me and high solidarity in whatsoever we under through. On top of that, I am very happy to remember every moments I spent together with people, their faces, hopes and spirit. I sometimes envy my field colleagues as they are with the community every time. I wish I could have more time with them but I stuck in office very often though. However, generally I am so glad after these 3 years. I am so happy because I did full heart to work for the community, for them, to do the best I can do. I still remember in 2003 when I 'consciously' decided to keep working for them, for the marginalized ones and I tried to find the ways for that when I worked for Walhi Sumut as entry point for building network and getting more experiences to be prepared for working with them. Then I met Monang Wak Soleh, Dina, Jaishree, Terry Bigalke, Andrew and Anthony, Sam, Rebecca and Tony who I would always remember and thank to them.

I believe in destiny. I believe that every path to walk on has its own meaning. I believe that as long as I do things with my heart, full effort and do it sincerely, there will be people out there that would see it. I think the teaching of buddhism or hinduism, I am not sure, but it is said about the karma. That means if you do something either good or bad, you'll receive the return in some ways. If you do good thing to certain people, the return might not come from them but somewhere around. I believe that as my experiences show that. I hope that I am able to always keep holding this principle in my life. I also believe that having a good will and doing the good thing is not enough. I mean the good will is not enough but it takes more than that. I believe that good will should be challenged and how tough you are, that's the lessons will come from. Challenges will decide who you are as you wish to be or failed to be a different one. Not easy but it's worthy in life.

I know that what I am doing now is a part of the life stories of mine. A part of life line if you could say so. I know that I perhaps will not stay in very long time in this island to work for them, for the community in need as i am doing now. I know it's only a part of my path life, 3 to 4 years. However, I know that after going out for studying more or doing something else out there, I will be back for them in different role and dimension. They are the people who I should work for if I have an option to do that in future. I think Jesus face is with them. "Sindruhu-ndruhu niwa'ögu, nilaumi ba dalifusö no fondrege zilumana, ba khögu no mi falua". I will not for get this lyrics of a song. I often heard and sang when I was kid. It was a christian teaching song. More less it means "I (God or Jesus) tell you, what you do for the very poor, you do it to me" I don't know but perhaps that's what the reason why I am always glad when I am sorrounded by them.

Osaka to Kyoto

Tunnel Time Travel

Tunnel Time. I like to call my travel to Osaka, Kyoto and west part of Japan as Tunnel Time Travel. I was so lucky I traveled there by Nishida's car. The moment in tunnels was sort of giving you thought. When you are about to pass through the tunnel, there is kind of slight feeling of uncertainty but at the same time you know you are going to pass that tunnel although not knowing what exactly what is going on ahead. It's so different when you are on the open road when you know clearly what ahead is.

When you are on the tunnel, it's dark, you can't stop unless it is in an emergency situation and when it takes long, sometimes I feel like 'what if' something happen here?

It was a relief though after you pass it. Even before that. When you are in the tunnel (dark) and you saw outside bright and clear, the feeling is sort of 'I pass it'! :). relief,..

on the way to Osaka & Kyoto

Part III 2008 Awsome Japan Travel
In 2006, we visited this lake. It was so beautiful. We just passed by this year.