Returning home after more less than two years away. Exciting but also full of surprises. Meeting new people, visiting new places and gaining new insights if you like.Yes, it's not easy on the beginning, in the first weeks after arriving home but i'm very happy i can cope with that quickly and well. However, there is something missing though. indeed, feel empty. something missing.. the places i used to visit don't change much but the feeling changes a lot. and i thought we can start a new one but find out we are in distant parts of the world again. AGAIN. by the time i want to be closed with her, she's in the place where i was off. it's like reversing.

but, it won't be me if not taking it into superstitious level. i mean there is something out there to be learnt by me but couldn't see it right. and thanks to find it out soon. i came to realisation that indeed i shall change. changing to be a better one. as once said, and it is true that the autism in me can kill. can shut a relation off. i'm an autist, literally. when it comes to feeling, it's not easy to communicate it. and when i immerse myself in something, hardly can manage myself to the other thing.

but again, as i said, it won't be me if not seeing things on the bright side. perhaps i can see her in england sometime soon. yup.