another disaster

another earthquake and tsunami hit mentawai, islands below nias island my home town. 300 died.. that's in sumatra. in other part of indonesia, in middle, java, there was volcano eruption. just weeks ago, flood in papua (west indonesia) and the politicians and indonesians' leaders are just idiot as usual... oh ya, not to mention about flood every year in the capital city, jakarta and no any significant responses...
gosh, we need a new radical changes or otherwise...business as usual...

Here I am

Well, here it is. This the big deal is. I am here in University of Birmingham now. To make the story short, things start when I applied Ford Foundation Scholarship and seemed things just run smoothly. I got it. :) Then I applied four universities and was accepted at University of Birmingham and I took the offer and here I am... 

I am on my seventh week here now. I completed my pre-sessional course (English for Academic Purpose) and in the next coming 4 Oct, I will start my main course, International Development. I take M.Phil in International Development as I am thinking that's the way to have better understanding abt research. Then if i'm fortunate enough, i could pursue my PhD. If I am lucky enough. lol...

Couple things. First, I met my Ford fellows here.  I think they are great if not brilliant. At least, I could say that I have peers who share things in mind and I feel like at home when I am around with them. One from South Africa and another one is from India. I am not very much yet in touch with others but I believe they are cool too.... 

Secondly, despite our continuous 'hot conversation' about England and all, one thing I respect so much, so far about being here is 'honesty'. The story is I left my external hard disk at Uni Library, careless me, on Monday perhaps and then I came to Library desk this afternoon and I got it.... :) :) :) So happy get it back.. I respect that... 

New Hobby; Sketching

Well, actually I have been waiting and waiting for something. And it seems I couldn't get out of thinking of it until it's clear. In the middle of it, I was just jotting things down on papers. Things. I mean whatever; words, line, curve, or whatever comes. In a moment when I visited University of Birmingham website, I noticed something different in its logo. In the logo, I noticed that one of its pictures is a picture of mermaid. Hmm, I wonder... Then, I tried to sketch the mermaid picture but after all I didn't see I could do that. So, couple days it took me to sketch the mermaid and every time I finished, I was not satisfied at all.. I gave up for a while.

Then, a University of Amsterdam magazine on my table. There is a lady as front cover of the magazine smiling. I think she is 'too happy'. I didn't pay any attention on it until this afternoon I tried to do sketching again. I think the picture could be a model for me. Then, here it is.. :)

All the photos below taken from

http://www.facebook.com/barackobama

Photographer: Pete Souza

BP OIL SPILL; Too far from anti-british

I am following the news about the BP oil spill. I noticed this issue for the first time from tweeter and facebook. Then I found according to Guardian if I'm not mistaken, this causes low popularity of Obama especially in UK and US as well. Then, I've been following the criticism toward the inadequate of federal government solving this problem.

Surprisingly, as a freedom of speech nature is, many Americans not only criticize but also express vulgar disagreement and 'the worst words' ever I read in Obama's facebook, tweeter and youtube.

Then, I keep searching what's been going on actually. I also download some podcasts from iTunes about this issue. Not to mention that I download couple of Obama's speech videos.

What I found again is the nature of the freedom of speech as it is. Secondly, there is a frustration toward the huge problem and its impact. Unlike natural disaster, this oil spill keeps on and on perhaps until July or more.

Thirdly, and this is what makes me respect on Obama. I've never seen a president on earth acting like a worker, true worker for his people. Pictures don't lie. I never see Obama stressful until I noticed a picture of him looked so stressful to find the solution of this problem. The point what I want to say is he works. He does the job instead of just sitting in his luxury oval room. He talked to people, he mingled with them, he touched and heard them. And the photos are not merely as photos for publication purposes. I think it is far from that. I don't see that. People mentioned about PR but I don't see that. The pictures taken by the photographer, I believe he understands what's goin on. You can't get those images when you'are not deep involved in things or when you don't have the sense.

The other point I respect on him is his standing position to be with his people against oil industry (the rich behind it) when this company is found wrong. He speaks aloud his position precisely as his position for the healthcare bills against most of the pharmacy industries involved. His standing position for people that what mostly makes me keep respecting on him.

Again, people might have different opinions from varied angle and analysis. And I might be also wrong because I might be not as objective as I could be. But one for sure, I can see a man who is called a president works and stands for his people benefit and interest.

By the way, I read some blogs and news that it seems Obama stir the issue to be like anti-british. Even, there is a writing explaining how this anti-british attitude got in Obama. Imao,.. I can't believe it. The true I believe is how this industry press try to stir the core of problems to be fishy and blur... Man...

I also do understand David Cameron's position. It's not that he does not want to protect BP as a British company but I think, I might be wrong, he understands the complexity and the pressure this company created in American public. And it might be wise to be 'careful' in putting himself in the 'tending to be blur situation'. I think..

Again, this issue is far from anti-british. If that true happens, my respect and perhaps most of people around the world won't respect to Obama.

dambisa moyo on poverty

Listening to Dambisa Moyo after all is giving more confidence of my belief that aid should be re-considering again. There should be a review on that.

Couple things I agree with her is that her perspective that aid, especially aid of G2G (Government to Government), failed to decrease poverty in Africa. It is true in most of under developed countries as well. Another point I like is the way she portraits the aid as a bandage. Aid functions as a supporting for a wound. But it is not a cure, more less.

I would say aid is more like fixing tool of impacts of a bad system. Aid works for symptom created by a system. The system itself is greediness of capitalism of the economy regime where 0,000015 percent (less than 1 percent) of the population of this earth decides how people should be in term of economy.

What general idea in my head, too wide and naive if you would like to say so, is main factors of this global injustice are merely due to two correlated factors. First of all is greediness of few people and secondly is about economy regime. I will try to explain this my 'naive' theory.

Now, take a look at Forbes Magazine listing the most fortune individuals/families on earth of 2010. Forbes lists 1,011 individuals/families who are the most fortune on earth. I once counted their total wealth and the amount is 3,567 billion USD (3,567,000,000,000).These 1,011 persons (families) own the world. They decide the life of 6,827,100,000 people on earth. One thousand people decides the life of 6,8 billion of people.

Another fact is 80% of people on earth earn less than 10 USD per day (Source: World Bank). So, if you earn more than say 300 USD per month you are lucky because you are not a part of this 80% category. I am in the 80% though. Nevertheless, it is more less 12% out of 6,8 billion people (819 million) people earn less than a 1 USD per day...

So, if the one thousand wealthy people just donates 50% of their wealth to the poor people, only 50% from their wealthy, you can make poverty history. You won't see poverty any longer on this earth. As simple as that?? Give it a try :) :) :)

social democracy

Couple months ago, I attended this workshop re-inventing "truth Indonesian democracy". The big deal is to promote social democracy which was actually the original political ideology of Indonesian founding fathers. And spirit of Indonesian constitution is very much about it. However, the fall of Sukarno, Indonesian first president, all left ideology was banned. Suharto forcefully led Indonesia to open market system of capitalism since. The fall of Suharto 1999 let Indonesia seek for its right system. Since that, Indonesia is still between "communism phobia" and "searching for right way".

The growing of Islam fundamentalist I believe very much is a side impact of that situation. In one side, we are aware that in terms of economy Indonesia was very much underdeveloped in Sukarno presidency. On the contrary, under Suharto presidency the open market system created huge gap between the have and the poor. Sadly, there is no any president after Suharto (4 presidents) who is convincing Indonesian people where to go and how.

And social democracy is re-vitalized if you could say so. And it seems that it will take a long journey..

The picture below was a session of discussion by three academicians and Budiman Sudjatmiko (speaking). This discussion was supported by FES

It's been two months no posting. It's not that I did not write anything but its just not in this blog. I've been much occupied for another two blogs; one is in Bahasa Indonesia about scholarship, its process, Q&A and another one is photo blog.

I created this blog, www.suara2yangtakbisadiam.wordpress.com as I did not find any satisfactory source of information about IFP scholarship and its process. Then, I came to realize that if I myself didn't have enough information to what is going on and what will happen, how others can get them. So, I created it.

Another one is about photo blog at www.1234567890foto.wordpress.com Well, this is very much like hobby though. Say, it's just another fun things to do, to see things from the lens.

development studies

all right. couple things are clear but few things are still blur. i want to take development studies. yes. i'm interested in studying the philosophical elements behind the development and the layers in it. it's inter-displinary studies. That's one also the reason i want to take it.

on top of that is the questions on my head about poverty and so on.. i think couple days ago i kind of got some flash awareness abt it.. i keep thinking abt it and i will probably write here soon. :)

Obama supposed to come to Indonesia this month but cancelled until July. But for sure, I am just so glad he signed the health-care bill after long and fierce debates. He is the man... :) :) :) This world needs more leaders who really care for the people..

For how long can I resist?

For how long will my mind wander?

For how long am I able to refuse these absurdity?

For how long will I be able to connect the dots and survived?

This might be another question in life...

Another second or third or fourth or fifth or so on..

Another questions on my head

Another turbulence

Another fierce walls to climb on..

As for now I am deep down on drawing the direction

Either turn left or turn right

Straight true or return to base

As the 'man' who suppose to assist but against me

As the power is used for the sake of annoying psycho reasons

As it never could be explained well

another dark tunnel with blur direction though...

Being free from here might be worthy after all...

I wish I can post something in near future. It's been so exhausted these days... things cool after all though. :)

President and KPK; Gecko vs Crocodile

Cicak (gecko) is symbolized by KPK and Buaya (crocodile) is symbolized by police institution

The dissatisfaction to hatred to president's decision over the criminalization issue by police against KPK (commission against corruption) is getting higher. It's been waiting for his speech and his last night's speech was just plain. As usual, he doesn't have any strict opinion over things especially in this case. Indonesians relies on the KPK work for fighting corruption, an issue that long demanded to be the main priority of this government. On the first term of his presidency, yudhoyono let KPK showed its good work by sending top of corrupted officials to jail. People is cheered up. And I noticed that government officials became little bit afraid of doing business as usual, corruption.

However, after his election for second term, there is a strong tendency that president is upset by this KPK move. KPK actively investigates what's so called 'Bank Century Scandal'. Government provided this bank 6,7 billions USD which regarded as a big mistake and very possible full of corruption practices. Some rumors said that he was involved in this scandal. But before, KPK finishes its job, first top KPK official has sent to jail. It's very possible he was framed for that. Another two top KPK officials are tried to be sent to jail without proper evidences. Indonesian through facebook give support for these two KPK officials; Bibit and Chandra. More than 1.000.000 facebookers joined group for supporting these two men. In order to avoid massive street protest which very possible about to happen, president let the two KPK officials free. 

Despite all the previous critiques toward him, now I fully disrespect him. He deserves no respect as a president. He talked bullshit last night. This country will no go anywhere unless he steps down. Once again, it more convinces me that 'power tends to corrupt'. 

It's just about the time... he will be forced to step down. people power is on...  c'mon.. 

yes, we can....

...

hey,

i keep asking what i want to do in life. Or perhaps, the question should be 'What's really I want to do in life?' What?

well, if you ask me, i've got things to say. but when i ask to myself then the question is on and on. after these years, i just wonder if i was on the right track. On the way i've been through, i liked what i did as it connected my heart and my mind but at the same time i witnessed wrong things. And it seemed that i was just not capable of making it right. it's beyond my control, beyond my capacity to fix it. and then the question for me was 'why am i here?' 

And now it seems that i don't have right place, right time to have contemplation. It seems like i'm in it and try to avoid it but i couldn't. sticky patch.

a simple example one. i read in a newspaper of a grandma stole 3 cocoa and sentenced for a month and half. thiefs stealing millions dollars of people money are hanging around, appeared on tvs and newspapers and still fine. Isn't that insane? I mean, that is beyond basic logic as human beings. Another one, despite some success stories, many projects in the name of humanitarian purposes are wasting money. And...?? that's it. it seems things are just fine.

Look, this week i walked around and i found this. These two kids with their grandma were begging for surviving. We can see this scene everyday. i just wonder how on earth hundreds, thousands, millions families keep doing this in the middle of abundant resources to live better. what's wrong? Don't laugh at me.. i know it's just a ridiculous mind. yeah... perhaps the way i think is too simple if not naive.. because you would say 'that happens everywhere 'n every history'. 'from the ancient ages to now, they are always there'. well, yes that might be true. but why?

i don't know..

or perhaps, is it because i talked to them, tried to make friends or something.. or perhaps, i should just walk around and things would be just fine. is it? hmm... well...  i don't know.

here some

a friend of mine sharing same garden.:)

struggling for life

struggling for life

the other side of life

the other side of life

tired and space available plus free..

night

not so much though but i need to re-organize things. im just easily disrupted with all things. but life is good :), for sure..

in the middle of this hectic days, i just can't stand to write about my nephew. In him, there were just thousands memories appeared in my mind. he was born couple months ago. what a shame, i couldn't afford to come to see him. but only last sunday, i could come to see him. his father (my brother) gave him name benedict. he might be inspired by Pope Benedict XVI :). Or perhaps because my mom was converted of catholics to be protestant when she got married with my dad, so at least one of Wa'u generations has something about catholics:). So, the legacy of catholics still in my family then. lol

Anyways, benedict is sort of sun shining in my family. i never see my parents as happy as they are now. i never see my dad even if he was so happy, but he i believe, only in his heart but not showing to the world. Until, benedict comes. I came on sunday afternoon, and early in the morning before i got up even, my dad already was playing with benedict. and i showed them without their notice are playing to each other. i won't forget the moments. it was just so wonderful. it's the heaven. my parents feel 'full' of their life.

and me myself, i couldnt sleep until 2 or 3 on that night. the aura of benedict filled the house. i then remembered my late grand parents. i suddenly remembered how my grand father brought us whatever he found from garden. as he was pretty good in the water or sea, once i remembered he brought us eels or whatever fish he found in the river. or in one night, he took me along with him catching fish. he also once told me a sentence that changed my attitude to my little brother. my little brother at that time was just want to go along with me no matter where i wanted to go for playing. i didn't like it as i was not 'free'. but one moment when my little brother asked to go with me again, i said no. my grand dad was there. and then he told me "if not with you he can come along with as brother, with whom else?" and suddenly it changed me and i was okay if he'd like to come with me since then.

my grand mother was just so calm. she kept smiling at seeing me. and i liked the way every time she touched my hair, and wish all the good did of my ancestors come to me. she also often brought me fruits when she went to garden.

my childhood was just so wonderful. if i just could be back on those days. best moments of my life.
i feel what sort of being a son of my parents, a grand son of my grand parents and a son of my village.

and in benedict, i saw how my parents with full of love give to him. i saw the aura alive in my home again.

couple months before benedict born, when i was home, i found that it was not my home anymore. i didn't feel like i was at home. but now it changed. totally changed. if i just could, i would like to come home as i can. to see and to play with my little nephew.

i do like children. yes, eveywhere i go, when i meet them, i like seeing them, take a notice of them or whatever. i like children. but again, to see and to play with my own nephew is just more deep than ever. i don't know. i just think every child on earth is the place where we can see the innocence. n deep.. there are not masks, its just appeared as it is, as white paper as it could be.


my brother now also changed. no one could imagine that now he is a teacher. lol. when he was 20s n even after marriage, his life was sort of 'i dont know how to explain it' but now totally changed. if i use my logical way of thinking, i use the rational mind, i could not connect the dots. only the 'irrational' mind could explain that. benedict has an aura, something beyond logic could connect the dots.

i often use this as well, connecting things using the 'irrational mind' after failing to use my logical mind facing problems for example. i think that's why i sometimes, after all the problems that i dont see the logics behind it, i could be calm at the end. sometimes, i can't believe how simple logic could not apply for some matters. i dont know if i'm the stupid, the foolish, the stubborn or something. sometimes, when i gave all i could do, but something still missing the dots. then i use the effective way "irrational mind"

in this case, :) i mean benedict things, i use my 'irrational mind' to connect the dots as well. and i'm proud to be called 'bapa talu' 'middle father'. well, in Nias customs, when you have your nephew or niece, you have your own new name. So, not only the father, who'd be called as a 'father of benedict', for example; but also all the brothers and sisters would have a new name such as 'eldest father', 'middle father' or 'youngest father' or 'eldest mom', etc. and i'm so happy with my own nephew. :)))




my father, mom and benedict


innocent face of benedict


bennedict and my father

monitoring and evaluation

i've just submitted the term of reference of the monitoring and evaluation of ongoing project of FORNIHA. I've just interviewed them as well in order to compile our monitoring and evaluation first report. i hope i could complete this next week as other jobs; term of reference of reviewing LPAM strategic planning and reports, are awaited. I know, it's little hustle but i have to do that. Otherwise, it will keep on my mind and disturbing.

im going home tomorrow. it's been so long i dont go home. many times i plan but perhaps tomorrow the day i could come home. i want to stay there for one night. so, by monday, i'll be back here again. :)

be back from Poncan Gadang two days ago. The phone network was bad as heavy rain lasted for the last 2 days.

So now, it’s clear where FORNIHA is heading for the next 5 years. The strategic issues varied though from advocacy local government budget to the food security issue by utilizing the local foods.

Frans of Satunama facilitated the whole meeting pretty good. I learned a lot the way we completed the plan. The methodology to resulting matrix plan was more simple and friendly to apply.

I am now pretty much busy for the next meeting of LPAM for review of its strategic plan and of course the transition of LPAM leadership. I am pretty busy to complete the ToR of the meeting, the reports and things. Other things were to complete all the the requirements for the grad school. Anyway, things are just great. :)

I like taking pictures as usual and here are the pics that i took there.
------------------------

Before leaving to Poncan, in Sibolga, I met this fisherman. He was collecting his crabs from the net and then we had a chat. He then told me then by those crabs, he sent his daughter to university. Now his daughter got a job in government city as a civil servant. He was proud of his job. I could see by the way he talked to me.