Those Days

I don't know.. I perhaps should be a batman.. staying up late.. but I just feel fresh working at night. Itsn't good though but hmm... Well,.. I wonder if I can afford to change that habits..

Anyway, I remember this..

My Japanese Big Dad, Takeo Odaka SMI (Sake Master International). I miss him a lot.

He's fun and I like one of the songs of his harmonica. I liked that.

Great buddies...
Yulia, Sheena, Adriana, Aleyamma, Hye Sung, Miyuki
Su Yan, Chomrouen, Miwa

Beautiful...
Adriana, Aleyamma and Su Yan

Road to Hale Kuahine.. I miss it a lot..

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:)

Good Luck! You are on the right track. I believe you can do that as usual..
I pray for you...

Mekong, 31/12/06. Hope is always there







***

thinkingofyou

Can't Sleep, thinking of you... just wonder how things goin on with you now

this pic was taken 20/10/06 in Sua Lake Japan

carla bruni days

I just love the songs. My days filled with that songs. It becomes my companion doing the works at night now. I checked on the web last night that and she's actually and Italian but really 'french'.

I'm still stuck here in Medan. I suppose to go back to Nias but I still can't do that yet. The financial matter lay down.. I can't stand on that. I might need be more patient. The problem then is I can't make any financial decision toward new plan. But well, I hope that this week that will be clear and I can return to Nias. I have an appointment with Kusnadi UNDP though to submit him the early situation for the emergency response in this Friday. Or I think I'll just ask the staff to copy the video and the pictures and give him.

This afternoon I got email from TdH Netherlands but it was just late for them having that decision. We'd be more than happy if they just decided it. But let's see...

Tomorrow, I'm going to CA office here in Medan. London office doesn't reply for my email yet. They must be reading on it and hopefully this week I get the answer.

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Warming Up

No much thing to do these days except for completing the annual report ( and still...), attending the annual meeting of Walhi Sumut, meeting with fellows there, and do little stuffs. This week's sort of warming up. But I think I'll be busy next week. Plan's shown the schedule for next weeks's meetings and there are still more pages to do for the report; narration and financial report. I have to discuss much to the finance staffs here. They are little bit slow these days.

I talked with Willy today about the proposal he wrote about the environmental issues as one of the impacts of the reconstruction over the tsunami and quake response and it seems good. There are some items needed to be improved but for the whole, that's great. I mean, he has the capability in doing that. He might just need doing that often.

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No Much These Days

No much thing to do these days except for completing the annual report ( and still...), attending the annual meeting of Walhi Sumut, meeting with fellows there, and do little stuffs. But I think I'll be busy next week. Plan's shown the schedule for next weeks's meetings and there are still more pages to do for the report; narration and financial report. I have to discuss much to the finance staffs here. They are little bit slow these days.

I talked with Willy today about the proposal he wrote about the environmental issues as one of the impacts of the reconstruction over the tsunami and quake response and it seems good. There are some items needed to be improved but for the whole, that's great. I mean, he has the capability in doing that. He might just need doing that often.

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Ay

2007.. officially... I spent my new year's eve here in Medan. And in this big town, sometimes I just feel so lonely. I don't know. It wasn't like to be used. Yesterday night I wanted to celeberate the new year eve with somebody, someone closed to me but it's little bit awkward when people gathered together but I was just here alone.. I hang around the town for a while but then I found convinience to just keep staying at home and office as well.. Trying to review my whole year in 2006 but the beer made me fall asleep at least sleepy so I didn't feel fresh to do that.

Only today I went out with Novi and her son, Jeffry, Vera and his friend Agus and Fauzul. We went to starbucks for a coffe and then for a movie. I was with Jeffrey enjoying Happy Feet. It was pretty good movie. The message was that being different was okay.. It was good yet it taught me that there'll be always someone along with you in whatsover you are. Yeah, I guess so.. Then I had meal along with Fauzul while the rest went home after the movie. I and Fauzul continued for a beer at RC. No bad music though..

2006. I reviewed a little bit my years in the 2006 and I found pretty happy in what I did along the year except for couple things just like taking TOEFL test. That's the problem of being perfectionist. I wanted to have good preparation before taking the TOEFL test but the problem then was that I wasn't consistent for the preparation. I set time for that actually, every evening before going to bed but that's it. Beer was always there along with others to end our exhausted days (or perhaps I regarded that exhausted by myself?) I don't know. But I have to change that. I am thinking of moving for another house down there... I have to have a good time management for the 2007. I have to.. In this 2007 there should a huge change in me.. should be.. at least I have to make my life balance; between working and social life. Not to say I'm getting older but I'm not getting younger either. I mean besides following my mind and my temptation, there's should be also a re-thinking over things mainly personnal life. Yeah.. Job is always there no matter what.. It will be always there..

Dragon in 2007.. What's supposed to be?

xmas

For this xmas, I went home for 4 days. I departed from Gunungsitoli at 1 pm and arrived in Teluk Dalam 15 minutes before 6 pm. On the way, I used to drive fast but just didn’t know I drive slower than ever. I felt a sort of thing that I had to do so. It was kind of superstition that there’s something that I had to do so. Yes, it was right. I supposed to visit my parents directly but I stopped at Fali’s house just couple miles from where I received his text message informing me that his dead had just passed away. Soon after we arrived at his home, it was a sort of emergency action to help them; providing the generators as they didn’t have the electric yet, purchased things for the emergency needs and things like that. I called all the staffs down there and only in minutes we hand in hand to help after it reached 11 and it was time to go home visiting my parents. I kept being there until one day after the funeral because I had to go back to Gunungsitoli for meetings.

Anyway, I’m happy I can visit home, staying for couple nights. I enjoyed there. I also visited my grandma, actually my grandma’s younger sister. She’s okay now, better than when I met her last year. She had good memories of things. Pretty good even. And suddenly it brought back my memories of the past.

I’m also glad that I can still find how people in the village hand in hand to do the community works cleaning the village yard. I, Eka and Willy also spent one day for visiting the site project in Hiliamaeta in which I was very happy for what we’ve done there.

My Grandma is getting better than the last time I visited her after the disaster. She still has good memories of past times. She also keeps talking about the respecting of the parents and the ancestors. We heard a lot stories about that from her. We loved her.

We, LPAM, are very happy that we can serve the people reconstructing their houses after the disaster. The people deserve to get good houses just because actually all the NGOs, UN Agencies and BRR funds and donation are for them.. We work for them...!

One of the houses in Desa Hiliamaeta

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Not what way but how to go to that way

Hopefully, at the end of this year, I have couple days doing nothing, going away for a while from the works, from the screen, from the phones and all that stuffs. I'm thinking to go to Bukit Lawang as I used to do except that I'm not sure how the place looks like now. Yeah, after the 2003's flood, the place was totally changed and damaged. I'm not sure if it's already recovered now. Hearsay, it is already okay but still I'm not sure abt that.

Carla Bruni... The songs are just awsome, so mello with the guitar sounds.. It's just so perfect. I realize how the French are just so mello.. Sylvie or Sylvia left it for us.. Another side of their fave on hard musics. Thanks Sylvie and Sylvia. You guys are just wonderful with your stories of life and now with the musics you left for us.

Back to the point.,. with all that happened in this life, I feel how great life is. A lot things happen, a lot lessons-learnt, a lot good people around and huge opportunity to make life as you wish. Isn't that wondeful?

I'm actually considering of couple things I want do in life for the years ahead. I'm thinking of extending my service for LPAM for another two years. To build the strong and sustainable organization. I need to build the foundations for that. At the same time, the obsession for pursuing my grad school is pushing.. I'm thinking of going back to normal life, yeah going to school. The time will show what part I'll fall in. Another obsession are just there... Sometimes, it's not easy to choose what the right way on the right time. Actually, it's not on my plan for extending my service for another two years. But, that's it, to finish what I started. What I'm afraid is if I leave LPAM and it will start from the zero point again. At least, it will be more challenge and huge. Just because it's not yet established well. There are couple things to do more just such as to train the staffs for making the plan, appeals for donors, project management, administrative works and building good network. If the organization works well, at least there will be more poeople helped. There will be more people get benefit of the works. Besides, our committement to the people whose houses damaged by the disaster is not fullfilled all yet. Or perhaps I'll do a sort of combinging. Yeah, while do the job, I will attend the trainings and things for the capacity building and again at the same time doing a better preparation for going to grad school.. Yeah,. that sounds cool... That sound acceptable, right? Hmm..... let me think about that deep before having a decision. Thinking deep...

Feel Good

I feel good. :) Inspite of the unfinished annual report, I just feel good. My day started with the book from Sylvie from Germany. It's pretty cool 'Days of War Nights of Love'. Bambang got 'The old man and the sea' :) Sylvie might think he's just a pretty old buddy.., :) Bambang handed me the book this morning before I left for work. Hey, we love the bench... we are only three left here. The rest have gone for the holiday. But I like it.

Today, I did some writing for the annual report. It's not finished though but still I'm exciting to do that. Hopefully I can finish it before the end of this year. I also made a decision to participate with the Walhi Sumut group for the emergency response over the Mandailing Natal quake. Another one..:(

I received calls from Alex, Bang Parlin, Bang Monang and my dad as well. It's just great. Then tonight's meeting was better. Aleyamma also posted the people tribunal on World Bank Group. I like that.

Hopefully, Mike's flash disk could be sent tomorrow to London.

Well,.. if I get a call from Horep early in the morning and then I'll pick them up to airport. But if not, that's okay too just because I have the meeting again tomorrow morning at 9. Well.,.. life's just great. I'm exciting and I will be always. LIfe's just great...!:)

Novi, the lonely buddy.. How poor she is.. She's sleeping on the bench. She'd like to talk to me but I'm writing my blog. THere she is, fall asleep. It's not because there's something wrong with her but what I understand is that she just need a buddy to talk to. I know the stories she has always bored but I think deep inside her there a good heart. She's struggling for her life though. Good luck for you Novi. She's leaving for Medan tomorrow as well.... and the bench will only for me perhaps ? Bambang will go down for the vessel. The vessel doesn't arrive from Banda Aceh yet. The weather's just not okay for sailing.. Delay.. He'll work the whole weeks until first week of January perhaps. I will too but I'm thinking of spending my xmas with my parents and my younger bro. My older bro and my sister are still in Aceh. They are not coming back..

??

This evening I didn't feel good mood. In the middle of Vera's party I went to office and I did arranged the working papers. It's done a part. I don't think that I start to get bored. I am not and I hope I won't be until I finish what I started. There are still a lot couple things to do with the jobs. Building foundations for the sustainable organization. It will take another one or two years. I know that there are a lot things in mind, a lot things to do for myself but I think I can put that aside for a while. There will be a right time for that. Anyhow, I have to prepare for it as well. Huge effort for that.

I have no still clue for this xmas and new year. I have no clue at all or perhaps I need a really break. Yeah, that sounds cool.. Going somewhere where I can be lost. Hmm.. Sounds good idea.. All right., let me do the plan for that.

My Big Dad Sake Master

My Bid Dad International Sake Master created me a blog. It's in Japanese though..:)

http://duman.exblog.jp/4314271

http://nias.exblog.jp/3787622

Thanks Dad. I miss you, mom and sister....

Tomorrow's Field Visit

I suppose to go to bed now but I can't. I know that I will have a busy day tomorrow, field visit with Christian Aid guys from London, Ivan and Mike. We had the meeting this morning. They were just cool. I like that. I met Mike on the Tsunami Learning Review in last September. I've just known Ivan though. Aruni said that he's a good guy. Well, I feel so as well. We will spend much time tomorrow so I think I will know them especially Ivan better.

I'm still thinking if I will come along with them the day after tomorrow to Lolomatua or staying in Teluk Dalam having discussion with the guys down there. I'm not pretty sure yet. Let's see tomorrow.

I'm thinking of having annual holiday from this Dec 22 to 4 or 5 Jan perhaps. I don't know. I'm still considering about that. My annual report is still far away from what I want. I don't even start it yet. I wrote the outline but there will be still long journey for that...

My goodness, it's already 6th of Dec and the deadline for NOHA MUNDUS is 15th. Hmmm..,, I don't know... I need one more recommendation letter and still I don't set up time for the iBT yet. There's offering from ICTE posted by Aleyamma today for the human rights issue. I don't know...

I visited TdH Netherlands office in Jakarta on last Saturday and a new guy will be sent in Nias. It'll be another busy day. Yeah...

In office, it's hard to expect the financial staffs to do the best of their own or perhaps I expect too much on them? I don't know...

No clue yet for things.

It's Lonely

I and Bambang sit here on this bench feeling blue like Phil Collin's lyrics. They've gone but they are here still, the memories. Their smiles, cute smiles and the stories we shared...

Bambang received Sylvi's email and showed me. It's great, adventorous as she is. Sylvia supposed to arrive Medan tonight.

Four Monkeys in the tree, that's what Bambang said. I don't know he might think that we onced lived in different world in the different life. It's kind of dejavu here,..
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Japan Visit

Still collecting the notes to be posted...

Autum Mood in Japan. I just love the weather and the people

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Presentation at JICA


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The Joke Which Is not Joke At All

I remember when couple of days ago I and others had discussion in office until morning for the 2007 plan. We explored much on the plan and things like that. I think everybody was just exhausted and about to go for sleep.

Then, I came to the question. It just came out of my mind.
I told them "You know What"
They responded "What".
I "I think we are little bit crazy"
They stared at me with anxiety. Then I said "This is the rude thing of being activist. We think and work so that people have their houses re-built. But by the way, do we ever think how to have our own house and for how long more we will keep renting our small tiny room?"
They laughed. I didn't know what it meant until someone said "Yeah, but we love to do so and that's why we are here because we are little bit insane and we have 'hearts".

It took me few seconds before we tried to find another jokes to end our day. Thank you for the energy they spread surround.

Yup, we have just completed the 16 houses for the affected people. It's very well appreciated down there. I didn't realize it at all until my dad coming visited me in office yesterday and he told me what people thought about the project when he once or twice visited the site projects. He was proud of the work too. And everybody tried to speak with him and respected on him. He laughed and said "I didn't know why. I actually just wanted to see the works"

Perhaps that's it. Just to fulfill what the 'heart's calling' for doing something good to the needed.


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one of 125 families that we are reconstructing their houses after the disaster. it’s released to find them happy with their new houses after living in tents for almost two years since the quake hit the island.

some still live in IDPs camp

for the future of these children

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Dropping the Munster Students down there

Today I arrived from Teluk Dalam. I left Sorake at 10:45 am and I arrived Gunungsitoli at 3 p.m. It took me about 4 hours. I stopped over couple times though. On my way to Gunungsitoli, I met Saskia and Aris. They were from Lahusa Site Project. I went to Teluk Dalam on Saturday along with the Munster University Students; Caroline, Natalie, Saskia and Jana. I drove slowly just to make sure that they enjoyed the travel. Apart of the roads was bad and holes were every where. Only in middle of the way, the road was good and I could drive 60 km/hours. The rest, well, I had to be slow down.

We arrived in our office in Teluk Dalam and it was in the middle of the meeting with the workers, the owner of the houses and LPAM. This meeting is a part of the participatory approach. We need to share lessons-learnt and involve the community to the programs. We have just completed the 16 houses for the 16 households as a part of the humanitarian works. Some issues aroused; the rise of the contract value due to the inflation, the input for improving our mechanism in logistics system, the demand for keep working on the areas and I also introduced them the 4 students from Munster University who are doing the internship. On top of that, I was very pleased to find that the meeting was very useful for both the community and us.

After that, we most of us attended the “thank you” invitation from the one of the owner of the houses, Bapak Budi. He’s very happy just because he’s really wanted to live in the new house before the Ramadan Day in which is regarded as a holy month for Moslem. And it seemed like his dream came true yesterday. Of course we let him to hand the house over to him although there is no any official letter yet issued. But, letter is letter. The value of the “thank-you” meeting was more than the hand-over official letter. He cried at the end as he was so happy for that. Then we went to the guesthouse for staying there one night.

Yesterday, I took Saskia, Jana, Caroline and Natalie to the site projects. They will do brief obserbation for two days and we will meet on Wednesday for discussiong what they find in the field visit.

I thought that we were tired for that day and then I dropped them to the office, they stayed there and I went to Sorake again for staying. I just could not stay there with many people. I just needed to be alone and to be off from all the works for a while.

I arrived here in Gunungsitoli today at 3 pm and chit chat for a while with staffs and then went home. At 9 I got in office again. Well, I think it’s time to go home again. It’s almost 1 am already.

another fresh blood

I’ve just talked to Affan and the gangs. If things work well as I plan, then this I’ve been seeking for, a team with high spirit and professional. Professionalism here refers to their capacity to handle the programs as expected with NGO ways; egalitarian, participatory approach and things like that. It just didn't come to my mind to recruit him to be our team until tonight, the last minutes before they left, he expressed that he's interested in joining our team in LPAM. We've been working as partners for long but that's it.

Then, if that works, I have him, Eka (analytical and very potential) and others, 4 persons, who are going to be recruited; the accountant, English staff, secretary and web designer. If again things run smoothly and as it's expected, I will have a lot time for another work; seeking the fund resources for running a lot programs and building wide network. Besides, I think I can have more time to prepare for my future plan; for strategic planning of this organization and for my personal plan to pursue my graduate school in Europe. I believe I can do this. In terms of the barriers of the plan, it will be on the adjustment of the team in which I think that takes two or three weeks. I don't see other barriers except the expenditure especially for salary and operational cost will increase automatically. But that's fine as long as we have fund resources. We still have money for that. And if I start to focus on finding new fund resources this month, that will take one or two months. That’s fine.


Let’s see... again, I think I’ll set up really details plan for this in order to reach the targets. I think I can do this as usual.

remedy

i might call it remedy…
but still, it’s there..
although no news (yet)

or isn’t that beautiful just being like this?
something between …
isn’t that “being between” creating you undefined?
it's like puzzle

i know, it’s not “the feeling” an sich
more than that…
and we will talk about it then
when it should be
and i believe so…

d

I met Anthony from Christian Aid this morning and as usual, this guy was just great. I met him first time along with Andrew last year visiting Nias and we also met last couple months in a workshop. Anthony is just like Andrew and Peters as well. They really concern on us as their partner. I found the meaning of the true partnership of both organization with them, between LPAM and Christian Aid. Thanks guys.

We talked about the progress of the works, obstacle and what we are going to do in future. Though he is a “man of power” but still as usual is humble. He respects us and of course we also respect him and Christian Aid for their working culture.

As follow up, I will go to visit Habitat for Humanity in Aceh again on Wednesday and return on Friday morning. There is an adaptive technology (?) in which they recommend me to take a look on that and find out the possibility to implement that in Nias housing project. Well, let’s see…

Today I also have got my lost number from Indosat. It was little struggling there anyway. The customer service was just stupid (sorry man to being rude) but I was just really pissed off. I explained him about the number and how I lost that number and still he kept talking that my name was not the authority of the number. I told him that I have already registered my name on the number twice even before it’s lost. And then, I just came out with saying directly ‘I’m sorry, I do not believe you’ ‘Can I see your computer?’ and then he let me check his computer and that how things work. I found out that the he did not see other pages yet and then I told him to click other page and we found that in the other page my name was there. And yes, what a relief…! I felt guilty of being rude though, but still I believe on my feeling and it’s right.

Then, I went to Padang Bulan for processing my license number and got home having cappuccino for a while and then I went out at the evening meeting Reputasi discussing the housing project and also the school package. We have to meet again tomorrow dealing with the payment. I think Yuran should take in charge with that.

Playing pool for a while and come home. I’ve just sent Vinod UNHCR about the mini report of UNHCR timber usage by LPAM.

Hey by the way, this Internet Radio Hawai’i is just cool… Hawaiian songs, talking and news… Hmmm….
http://www.hotspotshawaii.com/irhpages/remindertoo.html
Okay, well done today…